I get a little bit stronger.

"He lied to you a thousand times, he hurt you twice as much as that, & you're gonna tell me you love him? For what, breaking your heart?"

For over a year, I've been trying to move forward with my life. I have fallen back into your arms, your bed, your game, many times. It's not something I'm proud of, but I always say "I love him". You do whatever you want, walk in and out of my life, and I let it happen. I'm always waiting with arms wide open, waiting for you to come back, because I always know you will. You'll stay with me for a brief moment, just enough to get my attention, and like the wind you're gone again.

Your feelings are unpredictable. Is there something there in your heart for me, or are you just looking for comfort and you know I'll be here? I've poured my heart out to you more times than I can even remember. I have tried so many ways to show you and tell you that I love you, but it means nothing to you.

I remember our first kiss. There are no words to describe my feelings for that moment. I've never felt anything like it in my life. I remember the first time we spent the night together, the first time we got dinner together, and I remember when I fell in love with you. What I don't remember is when you fell out of love with me.

I know every time I reminisce on our memories together, it's bittersweet. When anyone asks me my favorite memories, most of them involve you.

Last night, you kissed me like you meant it. All this time I've spent loving you, for what? Because you love me? You can't love someone at your convenience. I'm not here for you to love part time.

I'm no longer going to let you make me second guess myself. I don't have time to wait for you to grow up, while you hold me in our past, when I have so much more ahead of me.